


Art heists are not acceptable date ideas

by Captain_Snark



Series: The valentine debacle [6]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Puns Aplenty, but gold star for trying, subtlety is not key in star city, the valentine debacle continues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 00:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Snark/pseuds/Captain_Snark
Summary: Len is just trying to enjoy free champagne at Oliver Queen's fundraiser. And maybe he's up to something, but Barry calling him out on it is just rude and not the attention Len needs right now. Len's a little drunk and maybe champagne is not a smart choice when committing thievery, but it all works out in the end.Alternatively titled: Champagne and thievery don't mix-Part six of my valentine debacle series: in which we go from cheesy valentine cards to ar heists on Star City apparently.





	Art heists are not acceptable date ideas

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while (and everyone's probably forgotten about this series), but all of a sudden inspiration hit, and here we are. Thanks to everyone who reads and comments! I would never have written more than the first part of this without you.

The next time Len sees Barry it is where he least expects Barry to show up. Honestly he shouldn’t have even been surprised, because of course Barry Allen, CSI by day and superhero by night knows the mayor of Star City.

Why wouldn’t Barry be friends with the person whose office was decorated with the exact piece of art Len was interested in acquiring?

So there Len is, sipping a glass of free champagne at Oliver Queen’s charity fundraiser and doing his best to look very much like someone who’s not planning to rob the mayor. Someone should have given Barry the memo that inconspicuous behaviour does not include beelining it towards a random person and nearly knocking over not one but two waiters.

“Why, Barry, fancy meeting you here,” Len drawls when Barry comes to a stop in front of him.

“Please tell me you’re not here to rob people.”

“You’re pretty fast at drawing conclusions. You know what they say about assuming.”

“Makes an ass out of you and me,” Lisa interrupts as she slings an arm around Len’s shoulder. “Not that your ass isn’t lovely, dear, but we’re just here for the free champagne.” She tips her glass at Barry in a grand gesture and then pointedly takes a sip.

Barry in turn, turns a lovely shade of red.

“Don’t tell me you brought Rory as well.”

“Here I am dressed in my best suit and all you can think about is Mick. I feel like I should be offended.”

Lisa quirks her brow at him in confusion. But when she gives Barry another once-over it must click, because she gives him the look. The look that Lisa gets when she finds out a good secret and can’t wait to rub it in his face.

“Mick doesn’t very much enjoy fancy parties. He’s more of a beer and overalls kind of guy than champagne and designer suits,” Lisa says. “But I’ll leave you two be. Is Cisco around somewhere?”

“Cisco’s working on…err… He’s err…” Barry stammers, because Barry Allen’s superpower is super speed and not subtlety. “I don’t…”

“Too bad. I’ll have to swing by Star Labs sometime.” Lisa winks at him, takes a swig of her champagne and leaves the glass on a nearby table before she saunters off.

“Does she know?” Barry sounds slightly panicked and maybe Len thinks it’s adorable the way he leans more into Len as if they’re discussing a state secret. Which they kind of are, but if no one reacted to Barry accusing Len of theft, then it’s unlikely they’ll react now.

“It’s not a hard thing to figure out if you have enough pieces of the puzzle, Scarlet.” He takes another nonchalant sip of his champagne as he flags down a waiter. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Len gives him a look as he grabs a glass off a waiter’s tray and hands it to Barry. Because Barry can at least try to look like a normal person at a charity fundraiser and enjoy some champagne.

“I don’t drink,” Barry tells him, but accepts the glass nonetheless. Because of course Barry Allen, goody two-shoes extraordinaire, does not drink. “It’s not like that, alcohol just doesn’t do anything for me,” he explains.

“The point is, if your adoptive sister breaks into my apartment to give me the shovel talk, you can’t expect Lisa not to know,” Len continues.

“Wait, what?”

“Picked my lock and pointed a gun at me.”

“She did not.”

“Lisa and Mick had a blast,” Len tells him.

Barry looks almost as embarrassed as Len was after Ms West’s impromptu visit. Serves him right. It almost makes up for the whole day of jokes and ridicule that he had to endure.

“How did Ms West learn to pick locks anyway? I never pegged her for breaking and entering.”

“Let’s just say Joe wasn’t very happy with some of Iris’s dating choices.”

“What about yours?”

“I haven’t… Wait are we… I…”

“Barry, are you telling me you don’t see this as our second date?” Len says, wondering just how much more teasing Barry can take before his face reaches maximum redness.

Barry decides to not reply and reconsiders his earlier not drinking statement as he downs almost half of his glass of champagne in one go. Len is almost offended until he sees what or rather who Barry is looking at with barely concealed nerves.

Oliver Queen is making his way over to them and Len is not a very religious man, but he’s starting to rethink his position on final prayers. Rule number one of pulling off a successful art heist, after all, is not attract the attention of the owner of the art you’re heisting.

“Barry!” Queen exclaims in what is clearly feigned surprise. The man glances at the glass in Barry’s hand and back to his face in confusion, before he turns to Len. Which was great. Because apparently Oliver Queen and Barry Allen know each other well enough to know each other’s drinking habits.

“Ollie! Hey!”

Len raises his brow at that. Ollie? There was no normal everyday scenario in which these two would be so well acquainted as to the point they are using nicknames. Queen has a secret all right and Len is willing to bet it is vigilante-related. Which is perfect because Star City’s vigilante has a reputation of shooting people with arrows before turning them over to the police.

“Mayor Queen, how nice to meet you,” Len greets him.

“Ah, Ollie, this is…” Barry trails of unsure how to continue. Which tells Len more than enough about Queen’s extracurricular activities.

“Wynters. Leonard Wynters,” Len says, holding out his hand for Queen to shake.

Queen sure has rough hands for someone who supposedly spends his time signing laws and talking to reporters.

“You seem familiar, Mr Wynters. Have we met before?” Queen asks.

“I deal in art mostly. I don’t think we’ve met, although I wouldn’t be surprised if we’d have crossed paths before.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about art,” Queen admits with the perfect rich person laugh. Len has to hand it to him, he could have almost fooled him into thinking Queen isn’t actively trying to gather as much information on him as possible. Takes one to know one.

“Oh, art is very hit or miss. But I’m sure a man of your standing has an eye for it,” Len drawls. “You probably never miss.”

Queen gives him a confused look before Barry grabs him by the arm and drags him off. “Excuse us, we’ve got to discuss something,” he tells Queen. Which, has Len mentioned how Barry isn’t very subtle for someone with a secret identity?

Len’s almost impressed there’s no super speed involved and yet he find himself pulled through the ball room and through some glass doors until they are outside on a balcony in a matter of seconds. The balcony Barry has taken them to is empty and the crisp air clears Len’s head a bit. He might have had a bit too much champagne, but if it’s free, who cares?

“What are you planning?” Barry asks him as Len decides to lean on the wall next to the open doors.

“When were you going to tell me you know the mayor of Star City?”

“Don’t change the topic.”

“I’m just here to enjoy free champagne, Barry.” Len gestures at the glass in his hand, which is sadly almost empty. “Speaking of, I need a refill,” he continues, but before he can move his glass is full and Barry’s holding an open bottle of champagne.

“Thinking ahead. I like that,” Len comments as he slides down the wall he’s leaning on to sit down. Barry follows his example, setting the bottle of champagne down in between them.

“So you’re really just here to get drunk?” Barry asks incredulously.

“Saints and Sinners doesn’t have the good stuff and I am a man of fine taste,” Len replies, turning his head to look Barry in the eyes. “And by that I don’t mean the champagne.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

“You’re drunk,” Barry counters.

“I’m drunk, not stupid.”

Barry huffs a laugh at that. And all of a sudden tonight doesn’t seem that bad. Even if Oliver Queen were to find out he’s one painting poorer tomorrow and he shoots Len full of arrows, it’ll have been worth it.

“Say, you are faster than a bullet, right?” Len starts. “Does that mean you’re faster than most projectiles? Like arrows and grenades or whatever?”

“That’s really what you’re thinking about right now?” Barry asks him exasperated.

“I don’t know, what are you thinking about?” There’s a challenge in his voice and Len honestly doesn’t think Barry will react. But when has he ever been right about anything that Barry does.

There’s hesitation and Len can almost see the way Barry’s brain is processing every detail, every scenario and possible outcome at superhuman speeds, when Barry leans in.

It’s not quite a kiss. Only because the moment their lips touch a male voice has Barry startle and Len groan. If it’s not Cisco, there’s apparently always a friend of Barry’s around to interrupt.

“Barry!” a black man shouts as he enters the balcony. Only to look slightly awkward and uncomfortable when he spots them. “I… Sorry. Just, Felicity was looking for you. Something about the case you were working on… I can tell her now’s not a good time?”

“Dig!” Barry exclaims in surprise as he immediately moves to put more space between them. As if this Dig hadn’t obviously seen what they were doing already. “The case? I don’t…” Barry looks at the man in confusion, before it clicks. “The case! Right. I’ll…”

“It’s okay, Barry. If you’ve got to run, run,” Len tells him. Because he’s not an idiot and subtely is apparently not these people’s strong suit. “I’ve got to get going anyway.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Now go. I’m sure we’ll run into one another again at some point.” Len waves him off with a grin. Barry looks about 100% done with his less than subtle puns, but doesn’t argue as he gets up and follows Dig back into the ball room.

Len shoots Lisa and Mick a quick text before he decides to text Barry as well.

_Hypothetically: you’d catch an arrow for me, right?_

Barry doesn’t reply, but then again, he’s probably busy with subtly discussing Flash related stuff in a ballroom full of drunk rich people.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Len wakes up to a barrage of texts from Barry.

_You stole a painting?_

_Tell me you didn’t steal Ollie’s painting._

_Len, I’m serious! What the hell?!?!_

_Wait,_ _what do you mean I’d catch an arrow for you?_

_How do you know that Ollie’s the Green Arrow?_

_Len?!?!?!?!?!_

_Holy shit, you stole his painting knowing he could straight up shoot you????_

_What is wrong with you???_

Len sends him a single text back.

_Technically, Mick did the stealing. I was on look-out._

Not even a second later his phone vibrates with a reply.

_I so hope Ollie shoots you._


End file.
